by Tom McKnight
Have you ever felt frustrated trying to get the one you want to want you back? Have you ever felt like the cause was hopeless and there's just nothing you can do to win their heart?
Such frustrations are common. All human beings are subject to them. While there is no way to completely avoid them, there is a way to overcome them and find success. The way requires a basic understanding of those principles that motivate the human heart, followed by a patient application of those principles.
If you will systematically apply those principles in a well thought out strategy, you will ultimately reap the rewards of your efforts.
Applying the principles is up to you, but today I wanted to share with you a few truths relating to love and romance:
- "In Love" is a form of dependency. Therefore, if you want someone to be in love with you, you will have to make up your mind to meet their emotional needs so that they can grow dependent upon you. This includes hundreds of hours of listening to them while they talk while you, for the most part, are just attentively silent.
- People are attracted to independence and repulsed by those who seem to cling. Therefore, to avoid scaring off a potential love you must throw in a lot of apparent aloofness while trying to win them. If you think this may confuse the one you want about your real intentions, you're right. Sorry, but that's just the way it needs to be in the early stages of romance.
- People want what they can't have. Therefore, you have to hold back form giving yourself completely to the one you want at the first indications they're starting to become attracted to you. Instead of giving the dog the whole steak at once, feed it to him/her one bite at a time, over an extended period of time.
I'm speaking here of deeply shared feelings and your valuable time. Be careful with how much time and feeling you give to the one you want. As to sexual involvement, that should be withheld until after the marriage vows, or you'll reduce their incentive to get there. Why buy the cow when the milk is free?
- People's conscious decisions are subconsciously motivated. Therefore, don't be too concerned by what the one you want says they think they want, or acts like they think they want. You should act on principle and eventually they'll realize that what they really want is you.
- People are most drawn to a person with a positive and confident self-image. Therefore, resist the temptation to spill your feelings of self-doubt. Nothing is a bigger turn-off than somebody who insists on bursting your bubble and destroying the image they want to have of you.
- People's attitudes are really a reflection of what you think of them. Therefore, while not wearing your heart on your sleeve, you must still prove though your actions that your friendship to them is a committed one. This takes time.
- The longer a relationship grows, the stronger it becomes. Therefore, if you mess up along the way, take comfort in the fact that tomorrow is another day, and the fact that you prove you have lasted and learned from yesterday's hardships, will in itself increase their feelings of commitment to you in the long run.
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